Stumps: New Zealand lead by 340 runs

32nd over: New Zealand 136-3 (Williamson 50, Ravindra 1) In a shock development, Kane Williamson has made a half-century. This one took only 58 balls and was brought up by a pull round the corner for a single off Stokes. The numbers don’t necessarily show it but he’s played beautifully in this series and probably deserves a century. He’ll be back tomorrow aiming to achieve precisely that.

31st over: New Zealand 133-3 (Williamson 48, Ravindra 1) The arrival of Ravindra means Bashir has a left-hander to bowl at. That’s another thing in his favour for the Ashes. At the moment Australia’s best XI includes five left-handers in Khawaja, Head, Carey, Starc and Hazlewood, a not insignificant detail.

Ravindra gets as far forward as possible to smother the spin and is happy to play out a maiden. Time for one last over.

30th over: New Zealand 133-3 (Williamson 48, Ravindra 1) Rachin Ravindra doesn’t bother with a second nightwatchman. He comes in at No5 and pulls his first ball round the corner for a single. That allows Williamson to take strike and time another off drive for four. Just gorgeous. As a batter and a human being, he’s the dictionary definition of class.

WICKET! New Zealand 128-3 (O’Rourke c Pope b Stokes 0)

29th over: New Zealand 128-2 (Williamson 44, O’Rourke 0) Williamson drives another elegant boundary off Bashir. When does Bashir’s form, and particularly his accuracy, become a problem for England? I think he deserves to start next summer but England need to be clear on their contingency plan, particularly for Australia, whether it’s Rehan Ahmed, Tom Hartley, Liam Dawson, Jack Leach or even playing five seamers.

28th over: New Zealand 124-2 (Williamson 40, O’Rourke 0) O’Rourke’s dead, dead bat takes care of the remainder of that Stokes over.

WICKET! New Zealand 124-2 (Young c Bethell b Stokes 60)

27th over: New Zealand 124-1 (Young 60, Williamson 40) A quiet over from Bashir to Williamson. Talking of quiet, Williamson has reached 40 from 47 balls almost unnoticed. There’s always something nice about watching classical go at close to a run a ball without playing anything resembling a big shot.

26th over: New Zealand 122-1 (Young 60, Williamson 38) Williamson guides Stokes through point for his sixth boundary. The lead is now 326 and there’s no way back, not even for England’s intrepid Bazballers.

25th over: New Zealand 115-1 (Young 59, Williamson 32) Young whirls a reverse sweep for four off Bashir, a slightly risky shot given the extra bounce but one he played really well. It’s the start of an expensive over that includes four byes down the leg side and then a long hop that Young pulls for four.

It feels like Bashir is less accurate now than he was in India at the start of the year. Maybe there’s some mental fatigue involved; this is his 15th Test of 2024, which is extraordinary for a kid who had barely played first-class cricket a year ago.

24th over: New Zealand 102-1 (Young 51, Williamson 31) Young threads Stokes, who has changed ends to replace Carse, for a couple to reach a stylish half-century from 72 balls. He’s reached fifty 10 times in 20 Tests without reaching three figures. This is a helluva chance to do so against a weary England attack who know the game is up.

In Brisbane, the wonderful Travis Head has made another hundred against India. It’s his fourth in 18 months, all in huge games: the World Test Championship final, the World Cup final and now the second and third Tests of this enormous series.

23rd over: New Zealand 100-1 (Young 49, Williamson 31) And now for something completely different: after 119.1 overs of seam across both New Zealand innings, Shoaib Bashir is coming on to bowl for the first time in the match. Young sweeps his first ball for four, then survives a big LBW appeal from the second. Height was an issue and Ben Stokes decides not to review. I’m no sure about tha- ah, replays show there was the thinnest inside edge so we can forget everything else. Stokes does have a great instinct for when not to review.

22nd over: New Zealand 93-1 (Young 43, Williamson 30) Williamson cuts Carse for four to continue New Zealand’s serene progress. When England return to the ground in the morning, their bowlers will be entering a world of pain: they’re almost 300 runs behind and New Zealand can bat for as long as they like.

21st over: New Zealand 85-1 (Young 42, Williamson 23) Young hits Stokes for successive boundaries, a seriously handsome extra-cover drive followed by a deliberate uppercut with both feet off the ground.

“I’m three hours ahead of UK, so woke just as England’s last wicket fell,” says Felix Wood. “Winning toss and bowling always looks hubristic, and now England’s bowlers are back out again after each bowling twenty overs in the first innings. Seems an unnecessary risk to me given how many quicks we lose to injury. Was the England batting unlucky, loose or the usual end of term-y feeling? On bowlers, Potts has heart but I feel lacks a yard of pace. But mainly I’m writing in to say I had ‘I like Matt Potts and I cannot lie’ stuck in my head all day yesterday, and now it’s stuck in yours too. You’re welcome.”

I don’t think it was hubris, England have just been outplayed. The batting was definitely skittish, but it took a brutal spell of fast bowling from Will O’Rourke to blow England off course.

As for your little ditty, I have no idea what song you’ve mangled adapted so there’s nothing stuck in my head, just a lot of fresh air.

20th over: New Zealand 77-1 (Young 34, Williamson 23) Carse overpitches fractionally to Williamson, if that, and is rifled straight for four. This has been a slightly odd series for Williamson: he’s got starts in five of the six innings, looked in superb touch throughout, yet he hasn’t made a century. Maybe this is the innings.

Carse has bowled well (5-1-13-0) without quite justifying my frankly premature Will O’Rourke comparisons in the 16th over.

19th over: New Zealand 73-1 (Young 34, Williamson 19) Stokes, a touch too straight, is picked off for three leg-side singles from successive deliveries. He gets it right thereafter and Young defends.

18th over: New Zealand 70-1 (Young 33, Williamson 17) A short ball from Carse doesn’t get up and is dragged for a single to Williamson, who grimaces as if he’s been hit in the chest – presumably because he thought he was about to be.

The rest of the over passes without incident. Just over an hour’s play remaining.

17th over: New Zealand 66-1 (Young 30, Williamson 16) Stokes tries a very full inswinger to Williamson, who chips it confidently over short extra for four. It wasn’t a million miles from the fielder but Williamson had it under control.

New Zealand lead by 270.

16th over: New Zealand 59-1 (Young 29, Williamson 10) The moment I type that about England looking good in the field, Young gets a couple of overthrows when nobody backs up Bethell’s throw.

Oof. The last ball of Carse’s third over is a malevolent lifter that hits Williamson on the bottom glove. If Carse gets one he could run through the middle order, just as Will O’Rourke did earlier in the day. First, it’s time for drinks.

15th over: New Zealand 55-1 (Young 26, Williamson 9) England were sloppy with the bat but their attitude in the field has been good; if you descended from Mars you’d think the game was in the balance.

But it’s not, because New Zealand are already 259 runs ahead. Young takes Stokes for a couple of boundaries, a tickle to fine leg and an excellent drive through mid-off.

14th over: New Zealand 47-1 (Young 18, Williamson 9) By his standards, Carse was a bit loose in the first innings. He has started well today, nailing his length, and on this pitch he has the tools to make life really uncomfortable. Williamson is beaten by a lovely delivery, then grimaces slightly after being pinned by a nipbacker. An excellent maiden over.

13th over: New Zealand 47-1 (Young 18, Williamson 9) I thought Shoaib Bashir might be used as second change but Ben Stokes has brought himself on to replace Potts. A canny wide yorker is squeezed past leg stump by Young, who has slowed down after a fast start to the innings: 15 from 21 balls then 3 from the next 15.

12th over: New Zealand 45-1 (Young 17, Williamson 8) Brydon Carse replaces Gus Atkinson, who bowled a useful spell of 5-2-10-1. Young survives a run-out chance when Stokes’ oddly ungainly throw from extra cover misses the stumps. That’s all there is to report.

Meanwhile, in Brisbane, Travis Head is once again being Travis Head. If you haven’t read it there’s a quite brilliant interview with Head in this month’s Wisden Cricket Monthly; I can’t remember the last time I read or heard a current great go into such detail about their batting.

11th over: New Zealand 44-1 (Young 16, Williamson 8) The wicket allows Potts to resume his intriguing battle with Kane Williamson, who he dismissed for the fourth time in the first innings.

He threatens to make it five when Williamson edges through the slips for four to get off the mark. The way Williamson snapped his head round suggested he was worried about being caught, but in fact his Fairy Liquid hands dropped the ball well short of the diving Brook.

A classy and entirely deliberate late cut brings Williamson four more to the same part of the ground.

10th over: New Zealand 35-1 (Young 15, Williamson 0) Latham ends the series with 171 runs at 28.50, which is below par but not too bad in what has been a lowish-scoring series. So far only Harry Brook and Kane Williamson have reached 200 runs.

WICKET! New Zealand 35-1 (Latham b Atkinson 19)

9th over: New Zealand 31-0 (Latham 15, Young 15) For some reason the internet seems to get haywire at around 3.45am, so I’ve spent the last five minutes trying to fix it. You didn’t miss much, just another maiden from Potts. England have established some control with the ball, which is good, although a deficit of 235 is a bridge that’ll need crossing at some stage.

8th over: New Zealand 31-0 (Latham 15, Young 15)

7th over: New Zealand 29-0 (Latham 13, Young 15) Latham thick edges Potts through the cordon for four. Potts hits his knees after slipping in his delivery stride, a cheap and easy visual metaphor for England’s position in this match.

Potts’ dumb luck continues when another edge from Latham drops short of second slip and scuttles under Root for two more runs. New Zealand lead by 233.

6th over: New Zealand 18-0 (Latham 5, Young 12) You have to feel for Potts and Atkinson, who bowled those weird statemate overs this morning and are now back at the altar of hard yakka after only 35.4 overs. Given the turn that Santner found, Shoaib Bashir is likely to do a lot of work in this innings.

For now the seamers are bowling pretty well and Atkinson has just made it three consecutive maidens.

5th over: New Zealand 18-0 (Latham 5, Young 12) Another maiden, this time from Potts to Latham, including an edge that bounces short of second slip.

4th over: New Zealand 18-0 (Latham 5, Young 12) That’s a good over from Atkinson, the first maiden of the innings.

“I’m pleased to say I slept through the entire England innings,” says Kim Thonger. “By no means the first time it’s happened. I think I can solve the No3 problem. The management need to hire Paul McKenna as team hypnotist to take Pope to one side at the start of each innings and hypnotise him into believing he’s batting at 6. They’ve tried wackier ideas.”

Fun fact: Paul McKenna played a key role in Robin Smith’s recovery after Ian Bishop broke his cheekbone in 1995. For the only time in his career, The Judge found himself flinching against the short ball. McKenna put him under and he was fine for the tour of South Africa that winter.

REVIEW! New Zealand 18-0 (Young not out 12)

3rd over: New Zealand 18-0 (Latham 5, Young 12) Young smokes a pull for four off Potts, a statement of dominance as well as a fine shot in itself. The lead is already 222.

2nd over: New Zealand 13-0 (Latham 5, Young 7) Latham drives Atkinson sweetly through mid-on for four, holding the pose at the end of his follow through. England pulled off some amazing comebacks in the first summer of Bazball, most notably at Edgbaston when India were effectively 285 for 3 in their second innings and were still hammered by seven wickets. Here, in truth, they look a beaten team.

“I am in Hamilton, having been to Christchurch and Wellington, as well as five Tests in India and three in Pakistan this year,” write Neil Waterfield. “I am ready to go home. I was ready after Wellington. If the players have five per cent of that sentiment (even subconsciously), it could explain the performance? An explanation, not an excuse.”

Oh absolutely. It’s not ideal but they’re human beings and we all know what that means: imperbloodyfection. This is England’s 17th Test of the year; I think only India in 1983 have played more. They don’t get a free pass but they do deserve plenty of empathy.

1st over: New Zealand 9-0 (Latham 1, Young 7) Not a great start from England, with Young getting four thanks to a misjudgement by the sliding Bashir at fine leg. Potts then has a big LBW appeal against Latham turned down; Ben Stokes isn’t interested in a review.

“Now…” says Paul Cockburn. “Go back in time and use the benefit of hindsight. Should Santner have played from the start?”

That’s a ticklishly good question, especially at 3.10am. My instinct is no, because the pitches in the first two games did plenty for the seamers and Nathan Smith could easily have had a debut five-for. Then again, England can’t score a run against spin at the moment.

New Zealand are batting again. They will effectively start their innings on 204 for 0; Matt Potts is about to bowl to Tom Latham.

“Hi Rob,” says Brian Withington. “Can the OBO propose that either side should be able to enforce the follow-on? Seconded.

“PS Tell Tom that daytime life is overrated.”

“Just as the England football team has a glut of right backs and barely any on the left, do the cricket boys have a load of middle order batters yet no natural No3?” wonders Max Williams. “Pope clearly more comfortable down the order. And is this a byproduct of the Bazball mentality? Seems unlikely Jonathan Trott would excel in this team – although he probably wouldn’t have been picked in the first place.”

It predates Stokes and McCullum so I’m not sure it’s a byproduct of their approach. The last natural, vaguely successful No3 was Joe Denly; before that it’s probably Gary Ballance before he was found out. I know some of the Wisden Cricket Monthly would have Jamie Smith at No3, or even opening, with with Pope taking the gloves at No6. Smith definitely has the technique and gearstick needed to bat No3, but it would involve a lot of tinkering and you just never know how anyone will deal with the pressure of such a pivotal position. History will be kind to Pope I reckon.

“Spoiled for choice here in North Carolina,” writes Chris Pockney. “Hopping back and forth between this match and the Gabba. Gladiator just came on the TV and as I made an early start on the Christmas port, Maximus uttered the immortal words ‘on my command unleash hell’ and Bumrah ran in to bowl. The simulation just trolling us!”

Tea

WICKET! England 143 all out (Potts c Phillips b Henry 1)

35th over: England 143-9 (Potts 1, Bashir 1) The ball has turned for Santner, particularly the one that got Pope, but really this has been another end-of-term batting performance from England. Ben Stokes’ 43-ball stay is the longest of the innings; even Will O’Rourke survived 30 balls this morning.

With England nine down, the tea break will be delayed until the end of the innings. I don’t think anyone will be feeling any hunger pangs.

WICKET! England 141-9 (Carse ct and b Santner 1)

Carse gives a simple return catch to Santner, but nobody is sure whether it was a bump ball or not. The third umpire will reveal all any second now.

34th over: England 141-8 (Atkinson 1, Carse 0) England aren’t actually past the follow-on target yet, though I can’t see New Zealand enforcing it. England need to reach 148 to take it off the table.

“Recovered from the wisdom tooth pain, but my sleep pattern has been destroyed by so much great overnight cricket…” says Tom Bancroft. “Need to get a grip… Daytime life is falling apart.”

Tell me about it. I was talking to Yas Rana (host of the brilliant series of Wisden podcasts) about this the other day, trying to work out the best system. I’ve had no routine at all, just sleeping and waking and eating like an oaf. It’s been a slog.

WICKET! England 141-8 (Atkinson c Santner b Henry 4)

33rd over: England 137-7 (Atkinson 1, Carse 0) Santner has a huge LBW appeal against Carse turned down on height. The umpire Ahsan Raza thought about that for quite a while but I think he made the right decision.

Before that Pune Test, Santner had taken 54 Test wickets at an average of 42, spread across nine years of red-ball anonymity. Since then – and yes I know it’s an extremely small sample size but it’s my sample size and I’ll do with as I please – he’s picked up 15 more at 11 apiece. Nobody saw that coming, not even Quasimodo.

WICKET! England 137-7 (Stokes LBW b Santner 27)

32nd over: England 137-6 (Stokes 27, Atkinson 1) Three singles from Henry’s over, one of which leads to a precautionary referral against Stokes. He’s fine.

“Oh yes, we’re here all right,” says John Starbuck. “Keep going, despite the lack of witty repartee.”

I’m doing my best John!

31st over: England 134-6 (Stokes 25, Atkinson 0) New Zealand lead by 213 runs. That, I’m here to tell you, is a lot of runs.

WICKET! England 134-6 (Pope c Mitchell b Santner 24)