It feels we’re being punk’d by the basketball gods the way these offseason hires are rolling out. Mark Stoops and John Calipari have been the top dogs on campus for a decade-plus, the SEC’s longest-tenured coaches as of a few weeks ago, both in Lexington. Matthew Mitchell put together one heck of a run in his own right, leading the women’s basketball team from 2007 to 2020 before retiring.

Name mix-ups weren’t an issue beyond Matthew, Mark and John biblical storylines. And then when Mitchell got out of coaching, Kyra Elzy’s promotion and long-term hire shut those down.

All hell broke loose, though, when Elzy was fired and that coaching search began, Mitch Barnhart fighting for Virginia Tech’s Kenny Brooks and landing the haymaker punch. It was a surefire out-of-the-park home run, the women’s program led by a coach with 517 career wins and a 2023 Final Four under his belt. Every on-court accolade you could dream of, and it’s followed with just about the most impressive roster rebuild imaginable.

The only issue? Kentucky already had a “Coach Brooks” in Rich Brooks, whose Twitter handle remains @UKCoachBrooks to this day.

“Congrats to coach Kenny Brooks for becoming the Basketball Coach at Kentucky. I apologize for have the twitter handle up Coach brooks,” the former UK coach said at the time. “The only way BBN can keep track of golf and tomatoes.”

Truer words have never been spoken. He’s the best follow in Big Blue Nation and it ain’t close. Sorry Kenny, @CoachBrooksUK will have to do.

Just as we got past our Coach Brooks confusion — or so we thought at the time — John Calipari went ahead and left Kentucky for Arkansas, leaving another basketball opening for Barnhart to fill. And though he tried for a Scott and a Dan, maybe flirted with a Billy, he went and brought in another damn Mark. Coach Pope, come on down.

After some initial skepticism, Pope has passed every test since with flying colors, crushing every aspect of the job in the 12 days since. He even addressed the fans who were a bit uneasy about Barnhart bringing him in without any postseason success, saying it was “really important” for Big Blue Nation to “digest what was happening,” everyone experiencing a history-altering change together in a matter of days. Then he said he was going to respond by bringing No. 9 to Lexington.

As much as I’ve hated mixing up Mark Stoops and Pope when typing those names over and over the past two weeks, the latter has made it worthwhile with early roster and staff construction, laying the foundation of a contender.

And then he gave me a bone to pick with him Wednesday. No, not by missing on a prized recruit or bringing in a questionable transfer portal target. Not by coming up short on staff hires — the exact opposite, actually. In fact, it’s a personal gripe about arguably the best move he’s made since taking over at Kentucky.

Another. Coach. Brooks.

Pope stole away Scott Drew’s right-hand man at Baylor in Alvin Brooks III, one of the most respected coaches and feared recruiters in college basketball. He’s brought in five-star after five-star, instrumental in the Bears’ national championship run in 2021. You won’t hear a negative word about him in basketball circles, as beloved as they come. He’ll be Kentucky’s Associate Head Coach, rounding out a three-man recruiting staff that also includes Cody Fueger and Jason Hart. It’s one of the best core groups in the nation.

But who is “Coach Brooks” moving forward? Is it the man Kentucky football just named its renovated indoor practice field in his honor after bringing the program back from the dead? Or the guy who has excitement and momentum with the women’s basketball team at an all-time high, building a Final Four competitor in year one as head coach? What about Pope’s prized assistant, the person who earned a virtual standing ovation from the men’s college basketball world after leaving Baylor for Kentucky early Wednesday morning?

That’s now a problem Big Blue Nation will have to deal with moving forward, no thanks to the fine folks around UK Athletics, as is the issue with the Marks. Any typo or slip-up moving forward is officially their fault, direct all frustrations that way.

There are certainly worse problems to have. Winning won’t be one of them in the basketball and football programs.