Asked in 1996 by the late David Frost whether there was anything she would do differently if she had her time again as the wife of the prime minister John Major, Norma Major had a ready reply: “Yes: I wouldn’t have worn the blue suit.”

There had been the criticism at the time of the unflattering tool-box blue jacket in which she had arrived at the couple’s first big day at 10 Downing Street on 28 November 1990. But the response was also an acknowledgement that her choice for the iconic photo outside the famous black door would likely dog her for ever.

The position of prime ministerial spouse surely has some upsides but those who have taken on the role on the postwar era have often found it torturous. In the media (and now social media) age, the issue of clothing and image has been a central cause of that discomfort.

It was not easy territory for the new foreign secretary, David Lammy, over the weekend. Asked about reports that a Labour donor had bought more than £5,000 worth of high-end clothes for the prime minister’s wife, Victoria Starmer, the foreign secretary had suggested on the BBC’s Sunday with Laura Kuenssberg that the arrangement was quite typical.

Keir Starmer and his wife had accepted the donation so they could “look their best for the British people”. “Successive prime ministers want to look their best – and their partners – for the country,” he said.

The claim, it appeared, was that Starmer’s wife was merely following a well-worn precedent in allowing someone pick up the tab for her clothes. “I’ve just come back from the US, where US presidents and first ladies have a huge budget paid for by the taxpayer so that they look their best on behalf of the US people,” Lammy added.

He was, unfortunately, in error on that point. The US president receives a salary of about £305,000 ($400,000) and a £38,000 expense allowance, but there is no specific clothing budget for presidents or their spouses.

There is also reason to question the claim that the Starmers’ arrangement is par for the course in British politics. Clothing has long been an issue, this is true, but the solution alighted upon by the Starmers was not the only one available.

It would not be fair to contrast the approach of the Starmers to that of Mary Wilson or Audrey Callaghan, the wives of Harold and Jim, who felt pressures but were able to shy away from the public eye.

And while clothing was of the highest importance to Margaret Thatcher, whose mother was a dressmaker and who took on Margaret King, a director of Aquascutum as her fashion adviser, there was scant public attention given to the sartorial sense of Denis Thatcher, whose successful business career offered him plenty of resources for his suits.

The same might be said of Theresa May’s husband, Philip, and Liz Truss’s spouse, Hugh O’Leary – who barely had need to change his underwear during his wife’s short time in power.

Norma Major was not particularly high-profile, preferring to live in Cambridgeshire with their two children rather than Downing Street. But despite the pressures she clearly felt, she is not believed to have accepted donations to fill out her wardrobe.

When Tony Blair came to power, though, concerns were raised. His wife, Cherie, let it be known in 1999 that the situation she had inherited was not fit for purpose. Downing Street briefed that the New Labour prime minister’s wife, a well-paid QC, had been forced to spend a fortune of her own money on outfits for public engagements at a Commonwealth summit in South Africa on top of £2,000 to fly out her personal hairdresser, Andre Suard.

“It is not as if she wants to splash out, but she knows that unless she looks good, Lynda Lee-Potter [of the Daily Mail] will slag her off for looking frumpy,” a source said.

Even then, Cherie Blair is not thought to have turned to donors for help. She did walk away with 68 items of free designer clothing after visiting a fashionable Melbourne store a few years later, worth around £2,000. The haul was said to have included jackets, sweaters, polo shirts, T-shirts, mini-skirts, jeans, shorts, belts and bags, books, an alarm clock, a lunchbox, necklaces, a beach play-set, pillow cases, pyjamas, socks and boxer shorts.

But most of the clothes were said to be for the Blairs’ children, who were with their mother on the visit. And when the list was reported, she was advised that the rules decreed she would have to pay for anything she wished to keep. The Blairs spent £324 on the goods they wanted and gave away the rest to charity. Cherie Blair carried on paying her own way until she left Downing Street.

Gordon Brown’s wife, Sarah, came up with an ingenious ruse when faced with similar problems. “As I quickly discover, there is no shortage of designers and retailers who will offer you free clothes,” she recalled. “However, there are many rules that govern what MPs (and spouses) can do with free gifts – not to mention the moral aspect of using your position to grab freebies.

“So, the No  10 advisers and I figure out a way that works for everyone. Any clothes that I want to keep, I can buy. Any freely offered clothes or jewellery, I can effectively ‘rent’ for about 10% of the retail value, then return.”

Samantha Cameron, the wife of David, who went on to found her own fashion brand, Cefinn, borrowed from designers or bought items.

Boris Johnson’s wife, Carrie, became known for taking on and running with the Sarah Brown approach, wearing a £7-a-day rented Karen Millen dress to the Queen’s funeral, for example, and a bell-sleeved, embellished tulle gown by Greek designer Christos Costarellos for her own wedding. Bought new, it would cost £2,830 but it could be rented for just £45 a day.

During her time in Downing Street, the former Conservative party press officer also rented a 1960s-style houndstooth mini-dress from Eponine London to meet the Queen at Balmoral in 2019 and dressed her baby bump in a rented Clary & Peg floral dress to meet the Duchess of Cornwall. It may have led to sneering in some quarters but it worked for her.

The Starmers, then, have chosen their own way in accepting funds for clothing from the Labour lord Waheed Alli – a decision that has thrust Victoria Starmer into the limelight in a way that she may find uncomfortable. As Norma Major discovered with that blue suit, choices have consequences.