‘You don’t own a TV? What’s all your furniture pointed at?’ Joey Tribbiani asks a palaeontologist in the Friends episode when Ross is a keynote speaker in Barbados.

‘Don’t follow the NFL? What are you planning your Sunday evenings around?’ feels a fitting equivalent, at least for those privy to strategically (occasionally-sneakily) cordoning off the back end of their weekend from 6pm until sunrise for uninterrupted football-viewing purposes.

The NFL is back, and so too a caffeine-reliant, snack-fuelled, Neil Reynolds-voiced, Scott Hanson-enthused remedy to the Sunday Scaries, where the blurred cut-off between night and day as nocturnal European fans creates the illusion of a week to which there is no end or beginning. From that nonsensical sentence, you can probably tell this football fan has already tuned back into a sleep-negligent schedule.

Point being, the Sunday void is no more for another six months. Let the rituals return and the meticulous pre-game routines resume. For some, it may be an extended Sunday morning run or walk to eradicate any lingering guilt that could arise upon nestling into your sofa for nine-plus hours of football later that day. For some, it may be cruising through a checklist of 9am kickoffs for their child’s local team, followed by the weekly food shop, lawn mowing, laundry-doing and in-law tolerating, at the end of which lies their reward of a night with the NFL. For others, it may be shrewdly rebranding dinner with the in-laws into lunch with the in-laws; post-6pm is your time.

For many, the NFL never really went away, for among you lie those storied fanatics who could tell you Giovanni Manu became the first player ever to be drafted into the NFL out of the University of British Colombia when the Detroit Lions selected him in the fourth round earlier this year. We see you, Draft boffins, and we salute you.

For some, the NFL returned to the UK as early as August, when bedazzled Travis Kelce jerseys descended upon Wembley Stadium to watch Taylor Swift during the London stop of her Era’s Tour, the league’s gold standard power couple continuing to warrant a staggering cross-audience reach. This writer taught his Swiftie sister about the tight end position this summer, and that’s pretty cool.

Fear not, Chads and Brads – she will be back on Sundays. In fact, Patrick Mahomes explained last week that the singer has even started drawing up plays for the Super Bowl champions. Andy Reid is throwing one in, you know he is.

Back are the workplace Fantasy Football drafts in which auto-pick merchants plot rage-inciting success, where secret alliances form to deny senior staff their shot at Christian McCaffrey or Tyreek Hill-shaped cornerstones, where non-participant participants require weekly reminders to set their line-up.

Back are the ‘I don’t follow the NFL but I know about Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes’ interactions with new or non-fans that ignite an excited, almost welcome, itch among football heads to teach the game they love. Back are the ‘isn’t a game three hours long?’ interactions that provoke a long-rehearsed defence among football heads. Don’t begrudge the above, either – bring them on board for the ride.

So, where do we stand in 2024? Well… Mahomes, Kelce and the Kansas City Chiefs are vying for a historic three-peat following February’s victory over the San Francisco 49ers at Super Bowl LVIII in Las Vegas. They limped through 2023 at times on offense, thanking the genius of Steve Spagnuolo as they lacked their usual oomph and spark and explosiveness… only for the rest of the league to let them go and add Xavier Worthy, the fastest man in the draft.

The New England Patriots, meanwhile, are beginning life without Bill Belichick following his departure after 24 seasons, the Atlanta Falcons are eyeing a playoff charge after the arrival of quarterback Kirk Cousins, Aaron Rodgers is back from injury to lead the New York Jets and Caleb Williams has landed. Brace for more Mike McDaniel sorcery in Miami, and for Anthony Richardson fireworks in Indy, and for fun-loving Keon Coleman media interviews in Buffalo, and for a slightly monstrous tight end duo of Michael Mayer and Brock Bowers in Vegas, and for year two of CJ Stroud and Bryce Young. A returning Joe Burrow has also bleached his hair, by the way. So there’s that.

It also awaits as the biggest year yet for the league’s international growth as the NFL stages its first ever game in Brazil on Friday night, before bringing three more matchups to London in October and returning to Munich, Germany in November. Weaved in between that is an NFL Academy showcase at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, while former gaelic footballers Charlie Smyth (New Orleans Saints) and Jude McAtamney (New York Giants) and former Welsh rugby star Louis Rees-Zammit (Jacksonville Jaguars) continue to chase the dream on practice squads. The headline, though, perhaps lies in Seattle where the UK’s Aden Durde enters his maiden season with the Seahawks as the first ever British-born defensive coordinator in league history.

Copious amounts of coffee shall be consumed into the early hours. Sunday Night Football will require its own Netflix-style ‘are you still there?’ message as UK fans battle to keep their eyes open. Monday morning alarms shall be met with rueful groans. Tuesday morning Microsoft Teams calls are to be attended with cameras off. We are so back. And you can watch it all on Sky Sports.

Neil will have his stats, Phoebe will have her snacks, J-Bell with have his sneakers and all will be well again…

The biggest offseason moves

• Kirk Cousins, QB: Signed a four-year $180m contract with the Atlanta Falcons after six seasons with the Minnesota Vikings.
• Stefon Diggs, WR: Traded from the Buffalo Bills to the Houston Texans.
• Derrick Henry, RB: Signed a two-year $16m deal with the Baltimore Ravens after eight seasons with the Tennessee Titans.
• Keenan Allen, WR: Traded from the Los Angeles Rams to the Chicago Bears.
• Brian Burns, EDGE: Traded from the Carolina Panthers to the New York Giants.
• Saquon Barkley, RB: Signed a three-year $37.75m deal with the Philadelphia Eagles after six seasons with the New York Giants.
• Jerry Jeudy, WR: Traded from the Denver Broncos to the Cleveland Browns.
• Haason Reddick, EDGE: Traded from the Philadelphia Eagles to the New York Jets.
• Justin Fields, QB: Traded from the Chicago Bears to the Pittsburgh Steelers.
• Russell Wilson, QB: Signed a one-year deal with the Pittsburgh Steelers after two seasons with the Denver Broncos.
• Josh Jacobs, RB: Signed a four-year, $48m deal with the Green Bay Packers after five seasons with the Las Vegas Raiders.
• Aaron Jones, RB: Signed a one-year $7m deal with the Minnesota Vikings after seven seasons with the Green Bay Packers.
• Christian Wilkins, DT: Signed a four-year $110m deal with the Las Vegas Raiders after five seasons with the Miami Dolphins.
• L’Jarius Sneed, CB: Traded from the Kansas City Chiefs to the Tennessee Titans.
• Danielle Hunter, EDGE: Signed a two-year $49m deal with the Houston Texans after nine seasons with the Minnesota Vikings.

Who to watch live on Sky in Week One?

Friday, 1.20am – Baltimore Ravens @ Kansas City Chiefs: For all of Patrick Mahomes’ usual (and eventual) supremacy, Steve Spagnuolo’s defense became a staple of the Chiefs’ Super Bowl winning campaign in 2023, at the heart of which were corners L’Jarius Sneed and Trent McDuffie, a picture of whom’s tone-setting influence was shutting down Tyreek Hill. With Sneed departing in the offseason, McDuffie is primed to see more time on the outside having dominated from the slot in 2023. A heightened role and heightened expectations, his first task coming against Lamar Jackson and Todd Monken’s multi-faceted Ravens offense. Baltimore offer their own secondary focal point in Kyle Hamilton, who epitomises the demands of the modern safety with his ability to blunt the run from the box as well as to blitz and hang with the league’s best in coverage. He is anywhere and everywhere.

Saturday, 1.15am – Green Bay Packers @ Philadelphia Eagles: The NFL celebrates further expansion to its international growth on Friday as it stages its first ever regular season game in Brazil when the Packers face the Eagles in Sao Paolo. There are new faces at running back for both sides as Josh Jacobs begins life as a Packer following the exit of Aaron Jones, while Saquon Barkley takes over the backfield reins for the Eagles after moving on from the New York Giants. Matt LaFleur’s young offense offer no shortage of breakout contenders after dazzling en route to the playoffs last season, but one man to keep an eye on is left tackle Rasheed Walker as he looks to build on an impressive first year as starter in his bid to cement himself as David Bakhtiari’s long-term successor. As for the Eagles, Jalen Carter begins year two in the NFL as a potential driving force of Vic Fangio’s defense as Philly adjust to life without Fletcher Cox, while Cam Jurgens steps in as starter at center following the retirement of Jason Kelce, who notably helped the Eagles draft his successor two years prior.

Sunday, 6pm – Pittsburgh Steelers @ Atlanta Falcons: It was an offseason of large-scale change under center in both Pittsburgh and Atlanta. The Steelers shipped Kenny Pickett and welcomed a quarterback competition between Russell Wilson and Justin Fields, while the Falcons splashed out to sign Kirk Cousins in view of a playoff run. Wilson begins the season as starter for Mike Tomlin’s side, no doubt under the pressure of a ticking clock in light of his struggles in Denver and with Fields waiting in the wings. And it is as you were on defense behind the TJ Watt-shaped wrecking ball, with second-year nose tackle Keeanu Benton poised for a more prominent role as Tomlin’s interior club-and-swim penetrator. For Atlanta, it is a fascinating first look at the Cousins offense under first-year coordinator Zac Robinson and, in particular his use of tight end Kyle Pitts, who is among those the Falcons hope to benefit most from change at quarterback and on the sidelines.

Sunday, 9.25pm – Dallas Cowboys @ Cleveland Browns: The Browns are counting on drastic improvement from Deshaun Watson as he makes his return after suffering a year-ending shoulder injury after just six more-than-lacklustre starts in 2023, two years on since Cleveland handed him a fully guaranteed, five-year, $230m contract that is shaping up to be one of the worst deals in league history. The Browns bolstered his supporting cast by trading for Jerry Jeudy to partner Amari Cooper and Elijah Moore at receiver, though everything points to familiar reliance on a Jim Schwartz defense that ranked first in the NFL last season. Two of the NFL’s premier pass rushers, meanwhile, trade disruption as Myles Garrett and Micah Parsons lead the charge off the edge having combined for 28 sacks last season. The Cowboys, who lost defensive coordinator Dan Quinn in the offseason, will also be boosted by the return of star corner Trevon Diggs.

Monday, 1.20am – Los Angeles Rams @ Detroit Lions: There were few more exciting, enthralling offenses over which to drool in geeky enamour last season than that of Sean McVay’s Rams and Ben Johnson’s Lions unit. Such was the whacky genius to the latter that Johnson catapulted towards the top of head coach wish-lists, eventually electing to stay put but no doubt cementing himself as one of the hottest candidates come January. It was an offense that would run through Amon-Ra St Brown, Sam LaPorta and Jahmyr Gibbs, with an expanded role than beckoning for former Alabama flyer Jameson Williams after two seasons disrupted by injury and suspension. Puka Nacua returns with lofty expectations after his NFL rookie record 105 catches and 1,486 receiving yards last season for the Rams, who turn to the likes of Kobie Turner and Braden Fiske to lead a young defensive front as they begin life without Aaron Donald.

Tuesday, 1.15am – New York Jets @ San Francisco 49ers: He’s back. Aaron Rodgers enters what he hopes to be his first full season as starting quarterback for the Jets having suffered a year-ending Achilles injury just four plays into his debut last September. He and the Jets have a Super Bowl assault on their mind, anchored by a Championship-calibre defense which could yet look even more potent once/if Haason Reddick resolves his contract standoff and should Will McDonald IV fulfil projections of a second-year leap. San Francisco return seven months removed from their Super Bowl heartbreak against the Chiefs. Brock Purdy may have helped Kyle Shanahan’s side reach the season finale in Las Vegas, but questions no doubt remain of his ability to take them back. Having Christian McCaffrey for company helps, so too Deebo Samuel and a newly-paid Brandon Aiyuk, the latter two of whom could find themselves in a blockbuster duel with Jets corner Sauce Gardner. Contenders collide in a perfect first edition of Monday Night Football in 2024.

The numbers

• Justin Jefferson signed a new four-year, $140m deal with the Minnesota Vikings this offseason, making him the highest-paid non-quarterback in NFL history.
• The Jets currently have the longest active playoff drought in the NFL, having not reached the postseason since 2010.
• Eight teams appointed a new head coach, including Antonio Pierce with the Raiders after his interim role in 2023.
• 15 women hold full-time coaching positions in the NFL heading into 2024 – the most for any professional male sports league in the world..
• Jaguars quarterback Trevor Lawrence signed a new five-year $275m contract extension, while Tua Tagovailoa agreed a new four-year $212.4m deal with the Dolphins this offseason.
• An NFL Draft record 23 offensive players were taken in the first round in April, including 14 successive offensive picks to begin the Draft – the first three selections of which were all quarterbacks.
• 49ers running back Christian McCaffrey signed a two-year $38m extension to become the highest-paid running back in the league.

Who has said what?

Falcons running back Bijan Robinson on quarterback Kirk Cousins and head coach Raheem Morris: “Those are two amazing dudes. Coach Morris is the best coach, I appreciate him a lot. Just his energy and how he carries himself and how he reacts with the players, he’s a big-time players coach. Even with Kirk coming in, having him as a veteran player makes things a lot easier for myself and for the other guys, but he’s so locked in, and we’re all locked in around it.”

Jets head coach Robert Saleh on quarterback Aaron Rodgers: “He’s a phenomenal team-mate. His team-mates love him. When you’re rolling and speaking of last year just his presence for his team-mates, I thought was a really big deal. I can’t speak glowingly enough about how cool of a team-mate he is and and I think his presence was greatly appreciated.”

Dolphins wide receiver Tyreek Hill: “We want to win those big games, we want to try to do something special down here in Miami, and we have the team to do it. We got the coaching staff to do it. All we got to do is just fix our minds. Go out and work each and every day. So it starts now.”

Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes speaking to NBC’s Chris Simms about the influence of Taylor Swift: “I think it’s been cool to see the girls and the women that have really embraced watching football,” Mahomes said of Swift. “I know being a girl dad, how cool it is for me to see like these little girls – these daughters – and how much they’re loving to spend time with their dad, watching football. Then meeting Taylor, realising how genuine and cool she is. I think that’s been special to me because she’s, like you said, the most famous person in the world, she could not be (genuine).

“And she’s really interested in football, and she asks a lot of great questions. Started drawing up plays. We might have to put one in.”

Lions receiver Amon-Ra St. Brown on being drafted by Detroit: “I think it was a perfect fit. Before I got here, I didn’t know what to expect, but now I feel like this is the place for me. This is home, the blue collar city of Detroit, the fans are the best fans in the NFL. We’re excited as a team to finally give the fans something to cheer for.”

Jaguars quarterback Trevor Lawrence on signing a new five-year $275m contract: “That’s awesome and it feels really good to have the stability of that five-year extension, but it’s not going to change who I am, I’m the same guy. I’ve got to be the same guy – I’ve got to lead the same way. I’ve never liked when guys get a big contract and change their personality.”

Inside the Huddle – Listen to all episodes

Hear from Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers as he speaks to Neil Reynolds in one of multiple exclusive interviews with some of the biggest names across the NFL…

How to watch the 2024 NFL season:

Make sure you tune in to Sky Sports NFL every Sunday at 6pm for the first game of our triple-header of live action. The evening’s entertainment also includes NFL Redzone action as hosted by Scott Hanson, as well as Sunday Night Football to round off the night.

Sky Sports will broadcast two exclusive live games every Sunday throughout the regular season in the 6pm and 9pm slots, while also showing every Thursday Night, Sunday Night and Monday Night match-up as well as the Thanksgiving and Christmas Day fixtures.

The Sky Sports NFL channel will meanwhile continue to show the usual NFL Network favourites, including Good Morning Football, Pro Football Talk and Total Access.

Watch the new NFL season live on Sky Sports, starting with reigning Super Bowl champions the Kansas City Chiefs hosting the Baltimore Ravens from Midnight on Friday September 6. Also stream with NOW.

Sky Sports+ has officially launched and will be integrated into Sky TV, streaming service NOW and the Sky Sports app – giving Sky Sports customers access to over 50 per cent more live sport this year at no extra cost. Stream The new EFL season, Test cricket and more top sport with NOW.